By Mrs. Atsuko Mori, Kamloops
I would like to thank the Seicho-no-ie, the teachers, everyone here today, and all things in heaven and earth.
Last July (1991), my husband was stricken with paralysis. It was Saturday morning. My husband who usually gets up early was still in his bed. I looked in the bedroom, and he said "I can't move my right arm and leg." I was shocked. I asked him if he can feel anything. He told me that he could not but that he did manage to go to the bathroom on his own. Fortunately, my second son was home and I told him what had happened.
I called a brother of my son's friend, who was a doctor, since my family doctor was away on Saturdays. The doctor was in his office so I took my husband there immediately. I later found out that the doctor was a Gynecologist. On that day, the doctor told us that my husband should have his blood and blood pressure tested, that he should go home, take an aspirin and rest quietly, and so we did as the doctor said.
I felt that my husband's illness was my responsibility and I prayed, "God please forgive me. Please surround and embrace my husband with your love. He will be cured." I prayed even as I worked. Then I thought I should give him a massage. I held my left hand as I do in Shinsokan meditation and recited, "Jissou Enman Kanzen" ( The reality is harmony, complete and perfect), while I massaged his leg and arm with my other hand. In the evening my husband said he wanted to go to bed. At that moment when he laid down, I felt that I must apologize to him. I sat on the floor and said " I am sorry. I am sorry for thinking of you as a drunk and poor worker. I focused on your faults and discouraged you. It must have been hard for you. I am sorry. I will stay here until you forgive me. I am sorry." I asked for his forgiveness. As the eldest son of his family he had internalized his parents' marital problems and hardships, and had suffered deeply. I had never tried to understand his pains nor gave him any support. When I thought of that I could not stop crying. My husband cried too and said " It's okay. It was my fault too." He forgave me.
The next morning he said, " I want to walk out side," and left. He came back in a little while then said, " the sole of my foot itch." I almost jumped for joy; I knew that God had answered my prayers. I said, " It's a sign that your nerves started working." My husband said, " I think so too. I am going to walk some more." He walked all day. Luckily we do not have extra money and our driveway was gravel. His foot seemed have been massaged by the jagged gravel as he walked. I thanked God for this wonderful providence.
Next day, we visited my family doctor. My husband had his blood and blood pressure checked, and obtained some prescriptions. My husband didn't spend a single day on the hospital bed. In 10 days he was driving a car. The doctor later told us that it was not a light paralysis, but because my husband still expressed his desire to work (growing plants in the green house), the doctor thought hospitalization was not necessary.
As I changed, my husband also changed. Since then he reads the holy sutra everyday. He said, " I did not know what the truth was. I never felt touched by any church sermons and thought of a church as something unrelated to me, something for only weddings and funerals. Nobody from church had told me the truth." My husband was baptized when he was young.
Later, my husband went twice for check ups. The doctor was surprised at how quickly he had recovered. " I am so happy for you. I wish other patients recovered as quickly as you did." My husband has a good sense of humor. He said, " well, if you play some music for me I'll dance for you." They both laughed so hard that the tears came out of their eyes.
Now my husband reads the English version of the "Seimei no Jissou" while I read the same pages of the Japanese version. We read " the Articles of Faith" together and say our grace together before breakfast. We are learning the truth to help us deal with our daily lives, and to harmonize with the world around us. We are grateful for this teaching and we would like to dedicate ourselves to the truth of life movement. Now when I talk to my husband, I feel that I am talking to God. I feel that I could trust my husband and follow him.
Who would have stood by me and guided me through this trouble? Only my husband, my children and the Mori family could have guided and supported me as they did. When I think of the days in my youth when I gave up my religion because I could not understand and had suffered from the teachings that said that a common man is deep in sins.
I can do nothing but pray now. I could not give up this happiness that I have found for anything. Thank you very much. Now I understand the meaning of the words from Shoshinge (one of the Buddhist sutras) " the beautiful lotus flowers come out from a muddy pond." Through the teachings of the Seicho-no ie, I can now understand the words of Shoshinge that I read in front of the family alter since I was young. I would like to thank Bishop Tsuruta, for immediately praying for my husband's recovery, when we asked for his prayers. Thank you very much.
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