Wednesday 6/26/96

Well, shit happens. I got fired today. Life seems to get worse when ever I seem to be doing ok. Good people finish last, that's a simple as it gets.

Wednesday 6/19/96

I'm dying again. Sinus infection, ear infection, and I feel like crap. I'm going to die soon. I can't remember the last time I woke up feeling good. I don't think I'm going to be able to play tommorrow out at SFU. I just can't see myself being able to walk straight let alone dribble, pass, shoot etc. Somebody shoot me soon please..........

For the first time, my car is actually more healthy than I am..........

Tuesday 6/18/96

God I'm old. 20 years old. TWENTY. Two whole decades. Think about it, you have to count ALL your fingers and toes to get the number of years that I've been on this earth. (assuming you all have your requisite ten & ten) Soon, you won't be able to fit all the candles on my birthday cake. (I didn't get one this year, at least not yet) On the bright side, I still have all my hair, I don't sit around in my underwear and gum graham crackers and I don't have any nose hairs. But I do complain about the government, so I guess I'm well on my way. HAHA here Pull my Finger!

Well, I can breathe now. My allergies seem to have subsided. But now I have an ear infection and I can't hear out of the right side of my head. So now you have to wander onto my left side to talk to me. Or you can just use sign language, but I still won't understand you, we may have some interesting conversation....but I won't understand it.

Not much is bothering me today, besides my heath that is, so I don't have anything to rant and rave about. Instead I'll just inform, you know, like the news.

Played last night at Douglas. Won by 50 or 60. To many to count anyhow. I played horrible. Rather I couldn't hit a jumpshot to save my life. I finally got so pissed off at being hit without getting a call from the refs, that I started driving to the basket. Something I haven't done seriously since like grade 8! And well, it's like riding a bike. Easy to find the holes and seams in a defence when you just focus. On the down side though, the other team figured out how to beat me......leave me open. I can nail threes with two guys jumping at me, I can squeeze the ball to the basket in the middle of traffic, but hell! get out the way when I've got the ball??? I couldn't hit the toilet if I was sittin' on it! Absolutely no skill when I'm open. I'm never open, so it freaks me out when I am. I don't really know what to do. I should work on this.

I need to start eating. I'm below 158 again. I have to be within 158 & 162. That my playing weight. If I'm lower, I can't get position down low and take the ball hard to the basket. If I'm over, I can't move quick enough to do anything, and my legs feel like tree trunks. Maybe I should start lifting again......nah.

I hate being old.

Saturday 6/15/96

Well, my creative binge is finished. No more funky, deep, thought provoking statements for a while now. I think it's because I'm pissed off about the Bulls losing the last two games of the Finals. They really sucked last game. Nevermind.

Here's another observation. Have you ever noticed that a car is really hard to steer, and it gobbles up gasoline when the tires have no air in them? Yup, they do! I am becoming SO smart in this car-owning thing. Maybe I'll figure out how to pump gas myself one day too! (Full service is so helpful!).

I played around with these pages tonight. I re-did the guestbook. I transfered it over to a different server, so you don't get that stupid french message back. It's in english now. Helpful huh!

I have to work tommorrow again. That makes 6 hours today and probably another 6 tommorrow. There's gonna be no-one there but me. All alone in a big warehouse and office, by myself. Oh how life is fun.

Hey! It's my birthday on monday!!!!!! I almost forgot. I wonder what I'll get......nothin' probably. I don't even really care that much. But you can all send me a Happy Birthday message by clicking HAPPY BIRTHDAY. Thanks. Oh well.

I'm gonna go back to Hawaii. Anyone wanna go with me? I can't afford to go by myself again. One or two more people would make it a ton cheaper. But the problem is, I don't want to go with anybody. I like travelling by myself. It's not weird, I just like being out there in the world.

I'm going to bed now. Bye.

Monday 6/10/96

Ouch. simply put, OUCH. I played my ass off tonight and pulled out 27 points, 5 rebounds and 6 assists. But I really payed for it, my knee is swelled up like a balloon and I think I may have to get my elbow drained of fluid, 'cause it's huge right now. Besides that I'm feeling great, I played incredible tonight. My shooting touch was bang on for some reason, and that's at Douglas College too, with the shitty rims. I shot something like 7 for 9 from 3-point land and 3 for 6 from the field. Really amazed myself. Geez.....Am I gloating? Sorry.

Got another game tommorrow night at SFU at 7:30, maybe I'll be able to move by then.

Weird thing........I worked for 11 hours on friday at work, and I just felt that sort of "renewed" sense of pride in my work. It's when you get on a roll and the fact that you're accomplishing something sort of makes you want to keep doing it despite the fact that you may not actually want to. I just seemed to want to keep working, but the Bulls game was on so I did have to go home. So I decided that I would come into this week and just jump right into my work. Well, my point is after all that explaining that I woke up and just felt awful. I don't know what it was. I wasn't depressed or anything like that, I just felt unhealthy-ish. Not sick, but a general feeling of yuckyness (is that a word???). And I didn't really get much done today. Actually I didn't do anything at all to be honest. This isn't helping very much, 'cause I'm sort of feeling guilty about not pulling my weight around there. I work hard, but sometimes I do come across as lazy. I'm not really lazy at all. I'm just really laid back, I enjoy sitting back and absorbing and observing what goes on around me. Sometimes I just get caught up in it. It's like watching a really good movie and then when it's over, forgeting what you had to do for the next few days and stuff (Ok, maybe that's because I'm absent-minded, but I was trying to be self-aware....)

I want my car back. I miss my car. I want it fixed first, but I still want my car back. Later.

PS- Only SEVEN DAYS TILL MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!! (June 17th) I want lots of Cyber-presents!!!!

Sunday 6/9/96

YAHOO!! no, not the website. I'm so excited, I just got a call from a guy I play ball with, and he needs players for his team in the SFU Summer league. I am so pumped now!! Finally the summer has started. Ya know it's time for the sun to come out when I'm playing three-four times a week. I'm gonna be so out of shape BUT WHO CARES! It'll only take a game or two to get my legs back. And I'm sort of healthy again, so I should be fine. This is so cool, I played last year for four games with the Meralomas, Randy's team, and it was the best basketball of the summer. I can't fucking wait!! Time to go SHOE SHOPPING!!!!!! YA!! And I gotta make a new "warmup" tape, and I haveta cut-up another sleeveless shirt!!! YES!!!! this is awesome!

Ok, now that I've calmed down a little.....not much mind you, but a little. I have recently been forced (forced, not the best way to word it, "been called upon" works) to tend to a friend's "dumping" sorrow. He was in a depressed mood I guess and I hung out and talked to him about it. I have been there before as well, not to long ago, (well, not actually dumped, but whatever) and I know how it feels. But I seem to be a little different in my methods of dealing with stuff like this. Not specifically this "friend", but most of my friends that have gone through this (all of 'em), usually sit around being depressed for too long. I admit I too have become anti-social for a spell after being "dumped". But I think what really confuses me at this point is when someone is dumped, that person seems to REALLY try and get the other person back. Not that doing that is a bad thing, it's actually a very "chivalrous" thing to do. But I come from a point of view, that if someone makes a decision of that nature, they usually put some amount of thought into it. So it's not like they just woke up one day and decided to break up with thier signifigant other, they've probably weighed the pros and cons and come to some decision. So, based on that, doesn't it seem strange that any sort of pleading and begging or whatever isn't gonna help??? I mean, I sort of compare it to arguing with a referee in a basketball game. No matter what you say it's only gonna make things worse for you. Let's put it this way, what could make a woman happier than giving them what they want? If they want "out", then let them. Maybe in the long run they'll remember what a gentlemen you were and reconsider. But to continually make a nuisance of yourself and deprive the other person of what they want is only going to make things worse.

Maybe that's a really passive way of thinking, but I do see it that way. I don't see it as being passive. I see it as being a civilized way of dealing with things. And it just seems logical to me. I don't know, it was just something that I was thinking about. I'm not perfect either, I've been knocked for a loop after being dumped, and I've certainly gone on large drinking binges to relive myself, but in my old age I seem to be maturing and seeing things from a better perspective lately. (Oh by the way, I turn 20 on the 17th, cool huh?) See ya.

Friday 6/7/96

Hehe, well.........I spoke a little too soon. I washed my car inside and out, every damn inch of it on Wednesday. It was like 25-30 degrees out....awesome weather. And wouldn't ya know it, I head out to Vic's place that afternoon to watch the Bulls game and my fucking car blows up on the highway! It overheated and started smokin' and shit. It sucked, in the middle of rush hour traffic and everything. Missed the first quarter of the game and had to pull over three times before finally getting to Vic's place. The good news is that the problem is REALLY stupid. When I was stuck on highway I was hunting for the Overflow Tank that's connected to the radiator. It sucks the hot fluid out, cools it down then shoots it back into the cooling system. Well, it was bugging me that I couldn't find it. I mean I don't know a hell of a lot about cars, but if you tell me to find something in an engine, I can usually poke and prod and find it. The thing was, I couldn't find the damn thing. Got my baby to the mechanic yesderday and it turns out there's a very good reason I couldn't find it..........I DON"T HAVE ONE! The engine got hot, the cooling system kicked-in, then the coolant got hot and shot right out of the the bloody radiator! So I basically ran out of coolant 'cause the heated stuff had nowhere to go but out of the damn radiator. STUPID!!!!!!! It's gonna cost next to nothing, but it's a major fucking piss off!!!!!

There, I'm done venting. I'm sorry I haven't been updating this thing very much lately. I've been really busy at work (11 hours today). And the weather has been too nice to "play" computer, been at Dolphin Park for most of the afternoon's this week. But then again, it's not like there's a whole ton of people who see this thing, what? like three people???

My body is falling apart. My knees are back to creaking and swelling up after ever basketball workout. My legs need two days of recovery time if I play more than 2 hours at a time. And my lungs feel like they're gonna explode for an hour after playing. I seriously need to start playing soccer again or my system is just gonna quit on my. Not mentioning the fact that I have all but ceased eating anything but Slurpees now. 2000 calories over 3 days is a little dangerous considering the amount of work my body goes through in a day. I've kinda got over my cold, but it is allerie season, and it seems to be really bad this year. I'd like to be able to breathe for once. Oh well.

I just don't have anything to say. This sucks. I will try to come up with something interesting to say tommorrow or Sunday. Till then, later.

Saturday 6/1/96

Well, I've been sick for just over three weeks now. I think I'm dying. This is god's way of even-ing the score....(shit, I thought I was behind already). I must of done something REALLY bad. Or I'm about to do something. One of the two. Who knows.

I wish I had something insiteful to write, but it seems everytime I have a "deep" moment or I think of something really weird....I'm never anywhere near my computer or anything to write on. It really sucks, 'cause I had some great thoughts this week. They were probably attributed to the fact that I've been high as a kite on decongestants and anti-biotics for the last ten days or so. As soon as I thought of what ever it was, I forgot it right away. But I seemed to remember thinking of something cool despite it. Weird, I know. It's just me.

It's very hard to talk to people on the phone when you're sick. I swear I must have spent twice as much time on the phone this week at work repeating myself to all the clients and courier services etc. that I talk to. That's probably why I sent so many faxes this week, so I didn't have to talk. Inovative solution huh? "Great Minds Think Strange" is what I'm getting at I guess.

My car is pissing me off. Before you jump to any conclusions, I LOVE MY CAR. But I have one small peeve about it. It attracts dust. I've washed it three times in the last 10 days, and exactly one day later, it's dirty again. And I only drive to work and back, and short little jaunts around Richmond. It's just dumb. Again..........Weird, I know. It's just me.

For some reason or another, I seem to be able to rebound great this summer (so far). My shooting has been it's normal self. When I want to score, I can, that part is just focusing or getting a better look at the rim. But my rebounding is surprising the hell out of me. I just seem to have a sense where the ball is going off the rim. I must admit, I have been working a lot harder at it than in the past. But I'm 6'0" tall, and skinny as hell. I shouldn't be able to just do it. I love it, banging around the paint, throwing my body into the crowd, smashing around underneith like that....it's great fun now. I actually voluntarily took Steve at Dolphin last weekend, and got completely beat up, but I loved it (he got exactly 1, count it 1 rebound against me!). Maybe it's because I've been watching Dennis Rodman so much this year. Besides the obvious Jordan & Pippen, he is easily my favorite player. Especially now. I would like to watch Rodman more than the other two these days. Hope it keeps up, Tournaments start soon.

Well, time to find something to do, it's saturday night and I can't very well be at home. So I'm off (don't know where just yet) and I'll check back soon. Later.