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TIGER PUZZLE
One morning this blonde called her boyfriend and said, "Please come
over and help me. I have this awesome jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure
out how to start it."
Her boyfriend asked, "What is it a puzzle of?"
The blonde said "From the picture on the box, it's a tiger." The blonde's
boyfriend figures that he's pretty good at puzzles, so he heads over to
her place. She lets him in the door and shows him where she has the
puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then he studies the box. He
then turns to her and says, "First, no matter what I do, I'm not going
to be able to show you how to assemble these pieces to look like the picture
of that tiger. Second, I'd advise you to relax, have a cup of coffee,
and put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box." |
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The Doubledecker
Two bowling teams, one of all blondes and one of all brunettes,
charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlantic
City. The brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus and the blonde
team rides on the top level. The brunette team down below is whooping
it up having a great time, when one of them realizes she doesn't
hear anything from the blondes upstairs. She decides
to go up and investigate. When the brunette reaches the top, she finds
all the blondes frozen in fear, staring straight ahead at the road
and clutching the seats in front of them. They all had white knuckles.
She says, "What's going' on up here? We're having a great time downstairs!"
One of the blondes looks up and says to her, "Yeah, but you've got a driver!" |
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning,
th0e wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment
and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung
up. The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said,
"I don't know, some young woman wanting to know 'if the coast is clear." |
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the
sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the
mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde says,
"Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her
the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You
dummy, it's me!" |
| A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out
and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she
opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the
blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun,
and as she does so she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun
and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't
do it." The blonde snarls, "Shut up, you're next." |
| A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.
She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says,
"O.K., "What's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh,
that's easy, W." |
What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told her she was
pregnant?
"Is it mine?" |
A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously,
she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was
applying fresh lipstick when the state
trooper arrived. "My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car
looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you
OK ma'am?" "Yes officer, I'm just fine!" the blonde chirped. "Well,
how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the
wrecked car
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"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. "I was driving
along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of
me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to
the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the right and there was
another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ........." "Uh, ma'am",
the officer said, cutting her off. "There isn't a tree on this road for
30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth" |
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