Help with car repairs
Do you need some help with a car repair? Maybe just a little help thinking through your car repair problem? Hey, we're here to help. Sometimes a word or two can help you see the problem in a new light. Car repairs aren't always easy, and sometimes one car problem can mask symptoms of another. A car is nothing but a large collection of fairly simple systems. Once you learn how the systems work, and how the they interact with each other, figuring out what's wrong can sometimes be pretty easy, and figuring out just what is broken is usually the hardest part of the repair for the do-it-yourself mechanic.
What we hope to give you here, is a quick peek inside the brain of a fellow that's spent most of the last 35 years repairing cars. But first, a word of warning, if you plan to actually work on your car, the safety page should be the first page you visit. If your car repair issues are in the past, or if you're just killing some time, you might enjoy the top ten or fun pages. Warning - Portions of this site may contain words or opinions unsuitable for young children or the incredibly small-minded. Mostly we're pretty mild, but on occasion, our vocabulary has been known to slip a bit during moments of strong emotion. Our main reason for existing is to help folks out with their car repair problems, but on occasion we have been known to get distracted and go off on a rant. Try to bear with us ...
Car Repair Help From an Aardvark?
About the name. I know, what the heck does an aardvark have to do with repairing
cars? To be perfectly honest, before Otto joined the firm, nothing. But, ever
since we inherited him, we've searched for a way
to write off his expenses. Do you have any idea how much a 61 lb anteater eats?
Trust me, it's a lot, and it has to be moving. Once he ate every bug in the shop and on the lot, we had to start buying his food and after much thought and careful
consideration, our problem was solved, meet Otto, registered official
mascot of Aardvark Automotive. He's customer quality control technician, crotch inspector supernumary, pest control
supervisor (insect division), and after-hours apprentice junkyard dog. He pretty much pays
his own way around the shop.
The other day a nervous customer asked me if Otto bites. "Nah," I said, "but he could sure claw the heck out of ya . . . " His teeth wouldn't scare a kitten, but he's got a set of toenails that would do justice to a BIG grizzly bear. Otto doesn't do car repairs, but he's a valuable member of our car repair team nonetheless. Helping folks with car repair problems is a demanding task, and Otto's disposition just isn't suited to the fine arts of troubleshooting and diagnosis.
The picture on the right was taken before Christmas, on our annual tree hunt. It began over 25 years ago: every year, a couple of weeks before Christmas, we head off into the bush and track down, outwit and kill a young tree in celebration of some religous event. Then we take it's dying corpse and mount it in our living room with bright ornaments and lights. This year we killed a prime one!
Auto Repair Help Sites
This site is about the troubleshooting process as it applies to repairing your car. You will learn how the various systems of your car work, and what kinds of things can and often do go wrong. If you need a little specific car repair help, or just want to comment on the site in general, our e-mail address is:
answer EVERY e-mail we receive that includes a
legitimate car repair question and a valid e-mail address. We can't always answer
the same day, sometimes it is a week or more, but sooner or later, everybody gets an answer. You might
not like the answer you get, but you will get one. There are a lot of car repair help websites on the
net, I've visited quite a few of them. They all offer answers to auto repair questions
- for a price. I've asked questions at every
one that I find working (many have shut down their question page) but I have
yet to receive my first non-automated reply. One guy's two week vacation has lasted three years so
far. We don't work that way. Send us an e-mail and see. If the answer helps you solve your car repair
problem, or saves you a ton of money, or makes you feel really good, you are certainly welcome to visit
our uchpbstrd page
to leave a gratuity.
Should your letter contain ass-kissing, rudeness or stupidity of epic proportions, it may reach the letters page. That's where we display some of the memorable excerpts from our correspondence. Mostly, people seem to enjoy their visit and admit to having been helped. One guy just didn't get it... Hey, I guess I can't please everybody...
Car repair advice from a dog?
I'd like you to meet Tess, our senior crotch inspector and car repair dog extraordinaire. Now,
before you freak out, she doesn't really repair cars, her primary activities involve olfactory examination of customer genitalia(ladies in skirts and Scots,
be warned). Otto may get most of the attention around here these days, but Tess is in charge when we're not
around and he knows it. She's his instructor of the fine points of crotch inspection and snack interdiction.
Duties which seem to have had a positive effect on customer quality. She also furnished after-hours shop security
before he arrived.
Got a car repair problem?
Follow the links on the left to find the page dealing with your particular car repair problem. We're tweaking with site organization a bit, some of the old pages have moved or been renamed, but most things should be easy to find. If you need more help, just drop us an e-mail describing your car repair issue and your car and we'll get back to you.
Thanks for stopping by,
hope you enjoy your visit.
Ken, Tess, Otto and Scamp.