These tips are probably the most important part of this entire site, please take them all to heart.

• Always wash your hands before handling a Dolphin, they are germ freaks.
  

• Never pretend you're a Dolphin in an attempt to mate with it, it can't tell the difference and the results could be fatal.
  

• Just because they are called "Bottle-nosed Dolphins" doesn't mean that you can drink liquor out of their mouths.
  

• You CAN surf on a dolphin, this is encouraged, but make sure you don't startle or else it might bite you in the friggin' crotch.
  

• Just because you have legs does not give you the right to kick a dolphin in the head and then call it a stupid idiot and steal its girlfriend.
  

• You CAN throw those little pop-canny things into the water, only normal fish get stuck in them and here at Dolphinsafe nobody gives a damn about normal fish.
  

• Your allowed to feed Dolphins, just don't feed Dolphins other Dolphins and tell them that it isn't another Dolphin, they WILL fall for it.
  

• Dolphins are very gullible, do not use this genetic flaw for financial gain.
  

• Don't ask Dolphins if they "caught the game last night," You know they don't get cable, showoff.
  

• When a Dolphin is upset, don't say, "Someone's not a happy camper," because the Dolphins not camping.
  

• Don't kick a Dolphin in the gut and then say it wasn't you, you're the only one around.

I cannot stress enough the importance of these safety tips.