The Dolphin Manifesto

This stuff is really only funny once, and usually not even then, so they get their own, special page. And when I say funny, I mean interesting, because all this stuff is 100% true.

Welcome to Dolphinsafe, the only site devoted to the preservation of one of the world's most important natural resources…the Dolphin. Dolphins are important to the environment, mind, body and the soul, and they're because of these four main reasons:

1. Dolphins breath in Carbon Dioxide and produce Oxygen, which humans breath. It's a most excellent symbiotic relationship.
2. They don't eat much or take up much space.
3. They're good role models for today's youth.
4. They don't take any guff or BULLCRAP from anybody.

These four reasons also make Dolphins the most dangerous predator in the ocean, forest and desert combined. Dolphins are also important because without them there would be no humans, as it is a widely known fact that Humans directly evolved from Dolphins.
Dolphins are also an important part of human history, They built the pyramids in Egypt, drove all the snakes out of Ireland (Result: St. Dolphins Day) and thanks to Dolphins, the National crime rate has dropped nearly 60%!
We here at Dolphinsafe hope that you enjoy this site, but we also hope you learn a thing or two about the smallest creature in the sea, the Dolphin.

10 Things Dolphins are better than:

1. The Boy scouts of America

2. Mutton chops

3. Anime

4. Japanese guys who sell Anime at the fair

5. Chinese guys who sell Japanese guys who sell anime at the fair.

6. The movie "Rad"

7. The fat "guitar player" in POD

8. Petty Theft

9. Tom Petty Theft (Stealing Tom Petty)

10. The Jamie Kennedy Experiment

Dolphins are our right of passage, like lost artifacts from a distant world, just like a Classic Rock radio station. They're like Classic Rock radio stations in a few ways, one being the fact that they play two songs in a row from the same artist every tuesday. Also, Dolphins wouldn't say they were going to play two songs by the same artist and then not, it's just not in their nature. Dolphins are dependable, like a fireman or a good smack to the ass.