Yes, Gastown has it all!

Gassy Jack

We are a recognized leader in:

Homelessness - More than 2,000 low-income people still live in the old hotels in Gastown, but we are eliminating their housing as fast we can, to make room for more tourist shops and trendy offices.

Drugs - Everything from crack and heroin to marijuana and valium is easily obtained on the streets of Gastown. Thatís why experts say we are part of the largest open air drug market on the continent.

Child Prostitution - The police donít seem to be be able to anything about it. The pimps and johns wander freely here. So no wonder child advocates are starting to call us the Bangkok of North America.

Street Crime - Thefts from autos and auto theft on the street and in parking lots are at record highs. Makes you wonder if itís safe to leave your car unattended. But isnít that what insurance is for?

Hey - not to worry.

Gastown has one of the largest private police forces anywhere. They work full time to keep the unsightly panhandlers and shopping cart people moving and away from you. The pimps and johns know better than to tangle with our efficient guardians. So you'll always be fully protected as you enjoy your shopping experience. Don't you feel safer already?

And Vancouver city police have big plans to make it even safer. They want to install surveillance cameras that can scan all the high-crime areas of Gastown, meaning just about every sidewalk and street corner (see walking tour map). Then they can keep an eye on you as you go about your shopping.

And that's not all: Gastown is getting its second police station, at Carrall and Cordova, less than two blocks from the first one, with 40 extra officers dedicated to just one thing - giving you a good old-fashioned Gastown welcome.

For your shopping convenience, we are planning to create a "Carrall Street Safe-Transit Corridor" where police and rentacops will be patrolling in extra strength to protect you from unauthorized contact with the locals as you travel from Gastown to Chinatown and back in search of shopping experiences.

But we're also busy tackling the root causes of all these problems, too. When we're finished with the final solution, there won't be any poor people left in Gastown to spoil your shopping experience - only the new gentry living in high-security gated complexes. With our friends in Chinatown, we are currently lobbying city council to prohibit any more low-cost housing or social programs in the area. So once all those poor people finally get the message, they will pack up their few meager belongings and move to a cardboard box in another part of town - or maybe to your town.

And as for all the people who have physical or mental disabilities, or have addictions, and the children and adults selling their bodies on the street, well, they'll just mend their ways on their own when they find out that there's no help or them available in Gastown.

So enjoy your visit to Gastown. Remember, it's not who you are, it's how much you spend.

 

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